Zoya Bianchi, Moretown, an eighth grader at Harwood Union Middle School took first place in this year’s Hildene Lincoln Essay competition. Her award-winning essay was one of 158 submissions received from throughout the state. She received a $500 prize for her work. Her essay describes how hard it can be to have conversations with those who don’t share the same passions and values. Here is what she wrote:
Bridging our Two Worlds
One Christmas morning as the gifts were just beginning to be unwrapped, I was at my peak happiness, thinking about how lucky I was to have a loving family. My grandfather began to open a present. It was an ornament with the face of Donald Trump plastered over an American flag. He held it up proudly and said “This makes my heart happy!” My stomach dropped. This wonderful man who had just showered me with gifts and love saying this left me confused and angry. He was a good person! So how could he have such horrible taste in presidents? This is a question that I have often asked myself. I have tried to understand how my family members can have opinions like that, or where they are coming from. However, I’m scared that any attempt to understand them will turn into a screaming match, as we both feel so passionately that we are correct. Political polarization has made it harder to connect with people who think differently, but through empathy and understanding, we can bridge these divides.
Polarization has worsened. According to BraverAngels.org, 65% of people in this country feel exhausted by politics. From abortion rights to gun control to health care, Media-fueled feuds over religions, genders, races, and policy deepen the divide. With each party believing that the other is a huge “threat to democracy,” what started as simple disagreements evolved into a hatred that has shaped our country.
Not only has polarization changed the states, but it has also changed relationships. Polarization affects my family. Differing views strain holidays, and at times I struggle to respect their opinions. I can’t comprehend how my generous, funny, loving family members can have beliefs that I see as horrible and unacceptable. Like my great aunt, a lesbian, voting for a man who states that there are only two genders.
It isn’t easy to have a civil conversation with someone with an opposing viewpoint, which is why I rarely do it. Just because it isn’t easy, doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. Psychiatrist Alice Maher argues that while kindness won’t change minds, it softens polarization. She said that, in her conversation with a member of the opposing party, she was able to apply empathy and realized that his beliefs had made more sense than she anticipated.
To me, empathy is the solution. Listening to the other person and trying to understand where they are coming from so that each party can get their point across to the other without resorting to insults. Applying empathy to conversations with my family members is one way that I will attempt to bridge the two sides together. Maybe next Christmas, when my grandfather holds up a political ornament, instead of feeling dread, I’ll ask him why it means so much to him, and listen. Practicing empathy is something that should not only be concerned with political debates but also in our everyday lives, to make this world a little kinder and a little more connected.
